Better Than Before

Gretchen Rubin loves to explore human nature and wrote the bestselling book The Happiness Project that details a series of experiments she undertook to improve her general happiness. In the pursuit of happiness she now turns to look at habits with her book, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives.

The Importance of Habit


People love their brains. What makes us human if not encephalization? That’s the size of our brains compared to body mass, and our ratio tops the chart. The reason human babies are born so cute and helpless is to give them more time to grow their brains. Because of this there is a bias towards decision making, willpower and motivation. And yet, our brains use the energy of a 20-watt light bulb. Brains love mental shortcuts.

If you walk into a restaurant day after day, at some point you’ll stop looking at the menu and order what you like. If you drive down the same street, you’ll stop searching your phone directory for nearby restaurants. On your way home from work you’ll head down the streets you know. Your brain goes on autopilot and this saves mental computing power for the non-routine tasks.

Habits are easier to maintain than motivation, willpower or constantly reassessing decisions. Habits can either push you toward or away from your goals. Good habits will help your brain maintain its edge. Bad habits create drag.

Know Thyself

Gretchen Rubin’s book has one key insight about habits that sets it apart from many others. People are not all alike. First of all, they have their own particular goals and will not necessarily want the same habits as others. Some habits may be key to attaining others (like sleep) but our habits express our identity.

More importantly, people are not alike in the way they can build, maintain or drop habits. For this reason the book covers a number of key differences in personality. Do you start projects without finishing them? Do you dislike shopping or love it? Rubin believes one must know such things in order to tailor strategies of habit building for the individual. For example, night owls should avoid exercising in the morning since it will only frustrate them.

Internal and External Rules

Rubin loves to categorize people. Early in the book she talks about how people are motivated by rules. Depending on whether they are motivated or not motivated by internal or external rules, people fall into one of four quadrants.

  • Upholders are self-starters because they are motivated by external rules as well as their own personal rules.
  • Obligers meet external expectations but don’t follow an internal compass.
  • Questioners could care less about expectations unless they understand the reason behind the rule.
  • Rebels defy both external and inner expectations.

Each of these kinds of people need to approach habits differently. A rebel, for example, needs the habit to be framed in terms of freedom rather than internal logic or external expectations. Obligers should seek external accountability from a friend or coach.

By the way, I am a questioner leaning towards rebel. I need to fully understand the why behind a habit, but I also have to watch that I don’t drop my good habits on a whim because I don’t feel like doing them. I got myself to start shaving on a regular basis by getting a shaving mug. My questioner loves the superior shaving lather which is warm, frothy and more natural. My rebel loves how I’ve dropped the shaving cream can and am doing something different.

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Author: Robert Waugh

Robert Waugh administers this website in his spare time. He is currently writing 75 novels most of which are in a stage of non-completion which straddles the line between real and imaginary. Robert defines his work as a form of magical realism in which words are merely a convenience that he occasionally provides for his readers who are, like the author and his characters, merely conceptual.